


Or Something

by starwarned



Series: Carry On Countdown 2020 [11]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: COC 2020, Carry On Countdown (Simon Snow), Carry On Countdown 2020, Carry On Countdown 2020 (Simon Snow), Carry On Countdown Day 11, CoC, Crack, DAY 11 - Fluff, Fluff, M/M, this is so silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:41:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27695014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starwarned/pseuds/starwarned
Summary: Carry On Countdown Day 11 - Fluff“Shouldn’t you be in college or something? I thought gay people are all successful overachievers?” - Kitty, GleeSimon catches Baz watching something embarrassing.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Series: Carry On Countdown 2020 [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2026942
Comments: 17
Kudos: 63
Collections: Carry On Countdown 2020





	Or Something

**Author's Note:**

> this is such a vague prompt that it took me so damn long to figure out what to write, but I eventually got there. this is kind of a crack fic lmao hence why the quote (which is normally an annoyingly pretentious quote) is from a fuckin episode of glee

I walk into the flat and Baz turns off the television like he’s been caught watching pay-per-view porn in broad daylight. 

Well, it is broad daylight. But Baz only watches porn on his phone and is _very_ careful to only do that in the comfort of his own flat. I very much doubt that he would watch porn in a room that Penelope Bunce could walk into at any moment (especially considering the kind of things Baz is into). (I’ve seen his browser history. He apparently has no shame and doesn’t bother with an incognito window.) 

“Hi, Baz,” I say slowly, _suspiciously_ , shutting the door behind me and setting down my bag of crisps. I’d gone on a walk (something that has been helpful for me recently - just to keep myself active and also not holed up in my flat for entire days on end) and stopped at the corner shop on the way home. 

“Hello,” Baz says, and it’s his feigning composure voice that I know far too well - that I am _intimately_ familiar with. 

“What were you watching?” 

“Oh, nothing,” Baz says quickly. Too quickly? He sets down the remote and kicks his feet up onto the coffee table. He is very casual as he pulls out his phone. 

I decide to ignore it just long enough to take my jacket off and strain a bit to pop the spell that’s on my wings. They flutter out behind me loudly and almost hit the framed photo of Baz, Penny, Shep, Agatha, and I that hangs by the door. (It’s a lovely photo and Penelope would have my head if I knocked it off the wall.) I stretch out my wings for a moment, allowing them to be free of their confines before tucking them neatly behind me. 

I join Baz on the couch. “You alright?” I ask. 

“Fine,” he says, not looking up from his phone. 

I make a fast grab for the remote, but this bastard has _vampiric, superhuman speed_ so he gets to it first. 

“Aha!” I say because even though he picked up the remote before I did, this means that he is hiding something. “What the hell are you so embarrassed about?” I demand. 

He flushes a bit (which really just means his typically grey tone turns a bit pink) and I know I’ve caught him. “I just-” he says. “It was _on_ and I didn’t want to change it.” 

I’m imagining horrors. I’m imagining videos that reside deep in the rabbit hole of YouTube that even I haven’t found. I’m imagining- 

Baz turns the telly back on to a very clear shot of Rachel Berry singing about her headband. 

I stifle a giggle. “You’re watching _Glee_?” I ask. “ _You_?” 

“I-”

I cut him off. “I’m surprised you’ve dropped your standards to watch an American show, but you’re watching _Glee_? I have to tell Penny.” I start to tug out my phone, but Baz’s hand is quick and he tugs it out from my fingers. 

“Sod off, Simon. It just happened to be playing and I didn’t turn it off.” 

“Right,” I say. I reach over and try to get my phone back, but Baz holds it away from me and his damned arms are longer than mine so I can’t reach it even when I end up crawling into his lap. “Baz, give me my phone!” I whine. 

“Not until you promise to not mention a _word_ of this to Bunce.” 

“No!” I say, stubbornly, continuing to reach as if I’m suddenly going to gain three inches in my arm and match Baz’s wingspan. 

Baz sighs. “I can stay here all day, Snow. Give in.” 

I shake my head and get myself leverage by kneeling on either side of Baz’s hips and pressing my chest into his in order to reach further. Baz takes advantage of my position and presses his face into my neck, leaving several kisses there. 

“Hey,” I say. “Not fair.” (I won’t give up the fight even if he’s sucking softly now and I cannot seem to keep a handle on my breathing patterns.) 

“Give in, darling,” Baz whispers just next to my ear and it sends a shiver through my entire body. 

I sigh and pout a little bit before pulling away from Baz and sitting down on his thighs. “You’re an arsehole,” I say. “Give me my phone.” 

“Kiss me first.” 

I roll my eyes, but I kiss him anyway. He’s smiling before I even get there and I can feel his arm jutting against me as he tosses my phone onto the armchair across the room. I start to pull away from the kiss to go retrieve it, but Baz winds his arms around my waist and who would I be if I left this wonderfully comfortable position? 

It’s only a few moments longer that I’m kissing Baz before I register what is still playing on the telly. Baz seems to not notice and instead puts his tongue down my throat. 

“Baz,” I say, tugging back from the kiss. “I don’t particularly want to snog you while _Glee_ is playing.” 

Baz lets out a laugh. “Right,” he says, and drops one arm from around my waist so he can pick up the remote that I’d dropped on the cushion next to him. “ _Great British Bake Off_?” he asks. 

I smile and nuzzle my face into his neck. “You know me so well.” 

I can feel the rumble of his laugh in his chest and I wait patiently for him to turn on mankind’s greatest show. 

“Will you snog me while this is playing?” Baz asks teasingly once he’s put the remote down. 

I roll my eyes and cover his mouth with mine to answer his question. 

I will certainly be regaling this entire story to Penny later.

**Author's Note:**

> no, I have not been rewatching glee idk where you got that idea


End file.
